I love autumn. I love the smell, the colors, the feel of the air, the anticipation of the family getting together.. oh, wait. Well, it’s not that I dread the family part, it’s the getting ready for all that that seems to put me in a tailspin.
Can I hear an “amen” out there?
In case you didn’t already know, I’m one of the most unorganized people when it comes to my house. Other places? I’m an organized dynamo, but not at home. I think part of it’s because at home, I have to live with my decisions–what to toss, where to put the untossed, etc.. I get so overwhelmed… partially over worry that I’ll make a bad decision and partially because it seems I never have enough energy. Unlike when I’m doing my thang elsewhere, at church for instance, I can keep up my energetic-seeming job doing for a finite period and then go home. Whereas at home, not so much.
I know depression plays a huge part in why I’m so lax at home and why I’m so easily overwhelmed by the tasks I need to complete. It’s a double jeopardy kinda thing… the pain keeps me from doing & the non-doing adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed which deepens the depression. What a vicious cycle!!
My other catch-22 is that my not wanting to do or go keeps me at home, but at heart I’m a more social person. I love getting together with friends and talking the night away, ya know? So I discovered facebook, which most everyone knows can be a blessing and a curse! At least it is for me.
I’ve found SO many long-lost friends and become closer friends with those I only knew in passing before. facebook can be a wonderful way of connecting and staying connected to friends, family and loved ones. It can also be terribly addicting!
So… I’m going to try to break this awful cycle of non-doing and my addiction to facebook all at once. I’m not going cold turkey though. I think that might lead to more depression. Does that make sense? Well, anyway, I’m going to give it a try.
Time will tell if I’m successful. Pray for me!!!