So today, Hubby has been…let’s say, exploring his limits. He thinks when a doctor tells him to take it easy, that means to just do what he always does, only slower.
Today, our boys needed some help using a laser they were not familiar with on the job. They brought it up to the house first thing so their dad could help them set it up and teach them how to figure the settings. It was all very confusing and boring, but soon they felt confident with it and took off to their job.
Ever since yesterday, Hubby has been saying he was going to try driving today, wanted to go get his hair cut and price new tires for our truck at the local tire shop. I told him he was NOT going to drive, but first thing this morning he was insisting on it again.
The boys called to asked their dad a question a couple different times, so soon as I was dressed, he said we “needed” to go check on them. “It won’t take long,” he assured me.
I had decided if he was going to insist on driving, we might as well take Max with us. He loves to ride and if we plan to take him to Nashville in May, he needs all the ‘practice’ and time in the truck. I said he loves to ride, and he does, but he’s not crazy about his tether.
We HAD to get the tether because Max is like a rubber ball, bouncing all over the cab, pushing buttons and knocking mirrors and rolling down windows…he’s a real mess. But he does okay with the tether, the worst thing is that he goes around and around in the seat til he’s got it twisted up and pins himself to the seat.
Anyhow, so we get to the job site and next thing I know, Hubby is attempting to hobble down to the main area with the boys right behind him ready to catch him if he fell. *shaking my head*
He had to do some re-figuring on the settings, and studying the plans and shooting the grade… and a bunch of other stuff. We ended up being there for almost 3 hours.
SHEESH!! Thankfully, somehow God made me calm and it didn’t bother me in the least to be stuck at a job site with the dog and absolutely nothing to do. Trust me, that is completely out of character for me. And the other great thing I’m thankful for is how good Max was! We walked and walked, we sat in the truck and watched/barked at people, we sat nicely in the parking lot and watched intently all the goings-on with the big equipment. He was such an awesomely good puppy!! He was definitely glad to get home, but even more glad, it would appear, to get to sleep:
So all that is great and I’m thankful that Hubby seems to be doing so well, I just hope he’s not pushing himself too hard and makes his healing take longer, ya know?
Something that happened yesterday has me upset and totally confused. My sister called about a week ago wanting to do Easter dinner the night before Easter (I don’t know why) at her house. I said, sure, what should I fix. She said layer salad. I said sure, great. And that was that.
Both my boys’ birthdays are in April. Precisely two weeks apart, matter of fact. I dunno how we managed that, but I assure you it was not planned. Anyhow, it always makes for a very hectic month what with winter coming to an end, spring blowing in and making it easier to do things outside, then Easter and their two birthdays, either of which sometimes will fall on Easter weekend. This year, it’s my baby son.
Last I knew, his wife told me she wanted to plan a cookout for him, but she’d let me know. It depended on when her parents could come. (honest moment here: that made me kinda upset, although I did NOT let on, but why did it matter when they could come for HIS birthday? argh… obviously, I’m a little hyper-sensitive when it comes to anything to do with them, still, I found out just today and because I pressed that she’s putting off this cookout for a week and I can only assume it has to do with them and that bothers me)
ANYhow…so yesterday, I’m talking to my mom on the phone and she informs me, as if I didn’t know anything, that we were going to do Easter dinner at sis’s house, and “If you wanna come, fine and if you don’t, that’s fine too.”
Yep. Paint a blank, wide-eyed expression on me here. I have NO CLUE why she said that or what was up her butt when she did. All I know is that my sister’s car was at Mom’s almost all day Sunday. I didn’t talk to her Monday and thus, she wasn’t told about Hubby’s accident, sometime or other, she found out though, possibly from DIL2, but it doesn’t matter. I wasn’t TRYING to keep it from her, I just didn’t want her to worry OR to hear what I did when she asked me how he was.. that accusatory tone and the questions as if he could have somehow avoided it or that he brought it on himself.
I am just bewildered, as I always am when she does stuff like this. She went on, after her “come or don’t, fine” remarks, to request that I fix a casserole. I swear, I am so tempted to just deliver the foods and leave. Honestly? If I did, they would all wonder what was wrong with me. I can just about bet you Mom would act as if something was wrong with me and either deny she said that to me or act as if I took it wrong.
I just don’t know. I’m just way past sick of this crap. I dunno if Sis was up there complaining about me all day Sunday and that’s why Mom was crappy to me or if she was just that way on her own. I just don’t know and I’m so sick of trying to figure out this garbage.
If the opportunity presents itself, I may pull Sis aside and ask her if she had told Mom she didn’t want me there or if Mom just said that to me on her own. I don’t know. There has been a lot of stuff in our sermons lately about making relationships right, but I just don’t know how to fix anything with my family. Where is the line between being who you are, being your own person and trying to be what God wants me to be and making peace with them?? Why do I need to “stuff” my own interests and personality in order to be acceptable to them?
I am at my wit’s end with them.
And… just for the record, I’m not sure the 450mg dose of Wellbutrin is going to be much more beneficial than the 300mg. It’s just not doing anything “more”… just not worth the extra meds, ya know? I will see the PA in a couple weeks so we’ll see what she has to say. Hopefully it won’t be to just chew me out for upping the dose on my own!
Genesis 37:5, 10-11 – “Now Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers they hated him even more.
10 But when he told it to his father and to his brothers, his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have dreamed? Shall I and your mother and your brothers indeed come to bow ourselves to the ground before you?” 11 And his brothers were jealous of him,but his father kept the saying in mind.”