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Cycling. I really do like it. I probably don’t love it like many people. I sometimes have to make myself ‘just do it’… I have to overcome the mind games that make me hesitate when I’m scared because of the pain from falling or whatever. When I am tired or sore, when I don’t wanna deal with the sweat and aching muscles.

Right now, I am just proud that I can make myself get on the trainer at least a few times a week. I mean, that’s a huge step forward for me. I want to get healthier and smaller. I want to get stronger and more focused.

I’m not a “pusher” though. I am not big on doing ‘the hard thing’. I’m the first one to quit when it gets hard or difficult or ugly. Well, at least physically. Although I guess there are things about me, parts of me that are always doing the hard things. I mean, living life with a chronic disease, one that never gives you a day off, never a moment to forget about it… that’s a hard thing if ever there was one. So … I dunno… maybe I’m a little stronger than I give myself credit for, but I could definitely be stronger than I am.

I am almost a total opposite of my crazy hubby, though. He never backs down from something he wants to accomplish. Like cycling. He has been committed to doing this century challenge this year. After his wreck, the crutches and all, he was still saying he’d give it a try. Then, he’d move wrong and get that muscle aching really bad and say that he couldn’t.

With this trip coming up this weekend, his work conference in Nashville, we have a LOT to get done before Sunday when we plan to leave right from church. Last weekend was planned to be the first leg of the century challenge with our local Redbud Ride, but he wasn’t at all ready to attempt that. About a week before this, we learned that they were making changes so that if you volunteered to work the ride, then you would be permitted to do your century ride either the weekend before or after the Redbud and still have it count toward the challenge.

He was so excited about that and started making plans to do that. We DID have a fun day working at one of the rest stops and driving SAG
Volunteers for Redbud Ride 2015
And earlier this week is when he’d told some other riders that he didn’t think he was going to try doing a century this weekend.

Then he rode about 20 miles. And didn’t feel all that bad. He told me the muscle that was injured and has been giving him so much pain felt better. So now he wants to attempt to do this 100-mile bicycle ride. Tomorrow. The day before we leave for him to attend a 3-day conference for work.

*sigh* I’m just not sure about the wisdom of this, especially when he’s not been training for that long a ride at all. Not one bit! He says he’ll just start it and see how much of it he can do. He had said before that even if he had to walk the worst hills in the ride that he’d rather do that so he could still have this first century done with.

This wouldn’t be such a big deal except that if he does this ride, it will mean I must be his “SAG Wagon”…I’ll have to follow him in the truck all day. And understand, a ride this long will take at least 7 hours for a very fit athlete. I’m thinking, even if he didn’t have to walk any hills it will take him around 9 hours to finish.

Now, I’ve never driven SAG before for more than 10 miles for him. That is enough to know it’s not fun. The very most you can run is about 20 mph, and that’s only in certain areas, ya know? So it’s a long, slow exercise in patience. And we’ve already established that I am NOT a patient person.

Yes, I’m also worried that at the very least, he’s going to feel miserable for an almost-4-hour drive to Nashville the very next day, not to mention that this will kill an entire day I was counting on to get things ready and packed. I worry that he’ll injure or re-injure himself in the process. And I’ll have to do something with Max for that whole time. I can’t imagine dealing with him in the truck for the entire ride, but that may be what I’ll have to do. Maybe I could put him in Sam’s pen for the day, but boy, is he going to be a mess once we get home. Probably physically as well as ‘mentally’… he’s pretty hyper if he’s been confined for any length of time and I hate dealing with him when he’s like that.

I know. I sound pathetically unsympathetic, don’t I? And perhaps I am to some extent, but I HATE feeling this pressure and he sees as me not supporting him. I DO support him, but dangit if this thing isn’t becoming more and more trouble. If he had ridden the century during the Redbud, there would have been a ton of SAG support provided. This way, I will have to do it AND there won’t be the public awareness to be cautious of cyclists either, which adds to the danger factor.

Yes, yes… *sigh* I know there’s not much “awareness” of riders when we just head out for a spontaneous (or even a planned) ride, there’s no news crews out covering it or any giant crowds to let anyone know there’s a special event going on. But sheesh… this is A HUNDRED MILES!?!

Maybe it’s just the sheer monumental-ness of the task that is bothering me. If Hubby does this, he will be on Cloud 9. He’ll be so pleased with and proud of himself, as well he should be! And *I* will be proud of him too, if I survive, that is. Ha.

I know, I KNOW!! I’m so selfish. Fear of the unknown is gripping me. The pressure to be ready in time, of losing a whole day to prepare. The worry that he will make the injury worse or be hurting the whole time we’re gone, when he’s supposed to be concentrating on what’s going on.

Ugh.

Fine. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I DO support him in this. I admire how determined he is. I drove SAG for him back to our house a few days ago and just kind of sat in awe of how he pushes himself beyond what’s comfortable and maybe even safe sometimes. (which is the case here…the ER doctor told him he didn’t think he would be ready to do a century for this ride)

I just found out a lady who sort of heads up our cycling club is planning to drive SAG for the riders (there are several) who are going to do the century tomorrow so maybe he has changed his mind about thinking I’m unsupportive. And she had said she would do this a couple weeks ago so I’m not quite sure why he is insisting on me doing it for him. *SIGH*

Shutting up now. I have stuff to do! LOL!

No matter what he thinks of my support or lack of it, I will be cheering louder than anyone when he does this, no matter how much of it he completes.

Post-Redbud Ride ride 2015

1 Corinthians 9:26-27“So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”

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