In case you are clueless, I’m talking about the trip last week to Nashville with Hubby and our baby dog, Max. This was Max’s first big trip to a fancy hotel in a big city. He did awesome when you consider he’s used to being let out into the back yard when he needs to do his “doodie”… haha. But we had to go down 10 floors in an elevator with a glass back so you could see out the entire, dizzying plummet to the lobby. There, we had to be quiet, which sometimes happened and sometimes not, walk through the lobby and the rotating door and then across the street to the awesome War Memorial park before we could do any sort of doods at all.
Honestly, it was a lot easier than I had feared. When we got into the lobby to check in, my inner dialogue went something like, “What in this WORLD were you thinking? We will NEVER survive the next four days in this place with this dog!!”
Good ol’ Maxie, though, he fooled us.
Hubbs enjoyed the conference well enough, but when we realized that the extra class he’d been signed up at attend wouldn’t be over til after 5 p.m. the last day and hotel check-out time was 11 a.m., well, I might have panicked a little.
We had done fine staying in the hotel, taking walks around the park and up and down the streets surrounding the hotel. There is great value in having a cool, secluded base camp (our room). But now we were going to essentially be homeless for at least 6 hours. It was over 80 degrees down there and you couldn’t take pets in a lot of places so I was really concerned about how we’d deal.
It wasn’t fun, but we did it. I ended up having to drive across Nashville TWICE, which was an experience in and of itself!! EGADS!! After I checked out and drove a few blocks away where we had walked the night before, I found a place to park and got Max out to scope the place out a bit. I had read online that pets were allowed in the place I wanted to get brunch, The Frothy Monkey. But when I got there, it was a totally enclosed place and I didn’t want to attempt taking him in and him getting all barky. That would have just freaked me out too much so I took him back to the truck, started it and crated him. I went back and ordered my food, ate it in a fairly leisurely manner and soon noticed that the place was becoming packed. I mean, PACKED!
I could see outside that the traffic was becoming a lot heavier too. So by the time I had finished with my food, gone to the restroom and walked back outside, I found that the street was a virtual madhouse!
That’s when the panic set in.
I had actually driven a short distance from the hotel to a park the day before. It was really crowded and there was a large area I couldn’t take Max, so when I found another park online not too far away, I had made tentative plans to drive over there. But now…I was feeling so unsure of whether I could even maneuver my way out of the parking lot, let alone make it all the way across town to a place I’d never even been before.
I was truly overcome with panic. And I’m not really an anxious person to the point of feeling it physically when I get worried, but on this day, I was a big ol’ mess. I texted the friends from my reunion group and asked them to pray for me. I texted my kids back home and asked them to pray. I felt soem peace knowing that they would indeed pray and from the encouraging messages some of them sent.
I began to feel God’s presence with me and the panic began to fade a bit. I was concerned about whether I had enough parking time left to sit there til the traffic thinned a bit. But even before my time had expired, I was feeling much better and confident enough that with Jesus’ help, I could do this.
So I took off and even though the feelings of panic rose up again a time or two, they never overtook me. Even with a couple of detours from the GPS directions because of construction, I still made it to the park without incident and boy, was I relieved!
I sat there for a bit, thanking God and recalling all the times He has delivered me in times just like this…and worse! And I kicked myself for getting into such a state in the first place.
Why do I do that? Why is my first reaction to panic and fret? I guess that’s just part of human nature, but it sure makes me angry at myself. As I sat there remembering how REAL and how EVIDENT God was to me a few years ago when I had run over my foot with our lawnmower. I had cut off a big slice of my heel and had to have a couple surgeries, a skin graft and was on crutches for months. For a T1 diabetic, that is some major risk, we tend to heal SO slowly and SO badly.. but God.
He healed that huge wound faster and better than most of my hangnails. I kid you not. The first few days after the accident while they kept me in the hospital waiting to see a specialist and make sure I didn’t develop infection, He even healed me of the diabetes.
Yep, you read that right. I had SO many people praying for me, and I am certain most of them were just saying, “Heal Geannie, Lord.” I fully believe that because of those prayers, or maybe just because God felt like showing off, I got to a point where I didn’t need insulin at all. I actually turned off my insulin pump and disconnected it. If i didn’t, my sugars stayed dangerously low.
No, it’s not “a thing” for diabetics to do this after a trauma. It’s not normal at all. That’s just another reason I know God was behind it. Now, it was only for a few days, not a permanent healing, but perhaps that time of my body not having to deal with outside attempts to regulate my sugars jump-started the healing in my foot, maybe it did some other weird thing that promoted the quick healing. I don’t know. And you know what? I don’t HAVE to know why or what.
God knows what He’s doing.
People sometimes ask me if it was awful when I realized I needed to start back on the insulin. No. It wasn’t. I have no clue why God would heal me for that brief period of time other than to give me this testimony, to give me this reminder of the faith that I so often need. Or maybe it’s because YOU needed to hear this story for some reason.
And if that’s the only reason it happened, that’s okay with me. Through all this, and the many other times God has pulled me through something, I have learned, albeit slowly and the hard way, but finally, I have learned to trust Him with my life.
EVEN when it looks like my life might come to an end or be horrifically changed. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” That is SO true, but we have to trust that, to believe it’s true. No matter WHAT the “things” look like, no matter how scary they might be, we must trust that God is in control and He’s working and putting things together for a purpose and for our ultimate good.
We don’t have to understand the process, we just have to trust the Orchestrate-or.
I have always loved this saying, and honestly, I’m not sure if it’s my original or not, but I’ve never found it anywhere else or attributed to anyone else, but here it is…let it minister to you the way it has countless times for me:
I don’t have to know where we’re goin’. Jesus has the map.